Adventures of an Asshole

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Blog - Alabama Betty's Boobs - 05-Feb-2007 @ 22:00

Friday, November 11th, 2005

Lily, Roger, and I were all having a chat when Roger had some ugly woman on Yahoo give him her phone number. Apparently Roger told her he would come and visit her, which probably was so she'd show her goods on camera. She showed them and wanted Roger to call, so naturally we got Lily to call and put on her best girl voice. These are the transcripts from that night.

Note: For obvious reasons the screennames and phone number have been changed.

(00:09:06) Roger:

supermankiller: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
jackie5503: what
supermankiller: i havent seen an ass so damn good looking
jackie5503: hey u asked

(00:09:28) Roger: HAHAHA! This bitch is on cam
(00:09:36) Tony: lol
(00:09:37) Roger: and shes like 30
(00:09:59) Roger: Shes always talking about sex
(00:10:14) Roger:

supermankiller: i havent seen an ass so damn good looking
jackie5503: hey u asked
jackie5503: ok
jackie5503: brb then ull call right?
jackie5503: u promised
supermankiller: Yes, Get naked NOW!

(00:10:19) Roger: she's ugly as fucking hell
(00:10:21) Tony: lol
(00:10:22) Tony: where's she from?
(00:10:24) Roger: Alabama
(00:10:32) Roger:

supermankiller: Yes, Get naked NOW!
jackie5503: i have to see if she is asleep

(00:10:44) Tony: who's asleep?
(00:10:49) Roger: some 5 year old kid
(00:10:55) Roger: she types like she was retarded
(00:11:00) Roger: and she looks retarded
(00:11:15) Roger: shes got these glasses on that look like their 4 inches thick
(00:11:18) Tony: alt + print screen and paste me the pic
(00:11:35) Roger: Ok, she went to see if that kid is still sleep
(00:11:40) Roger:

supermankiller: Yes, Get naked NOW!
jackie5503: i have to see if she is asleep
jackie5503: call me
jackie5503: 1-256-***-****

(00:12:05) Roger: your gonna laugh your ass off when you see this shit
(00:12:22) Roger:

(00:14:42) Tony: lol
(00:14:43) Tony: Oh my fucking god, dude
(00:14:44) Lily: What'd you tell her your name was?
(00:15:12) Lily: Because I'm going to call her up and say I am you.
(00:15:28) Roger:

(00:15:28) Roger:

supermankiller: I havent seen you naked yet
jackie5503: i cant get naked
jackie5503: but i can raise my tshirt up
supermankiller: raise it up and let me see those titties like right now
supermankiller: IM abotu to fucking cum
jackie5503: then ull call
supermankiller: yes hurry up im about to fucking CUM
supermankiller: ok baby, do you remember my name?
jackie5503: u promised
jackie5503: jayson

(00:15:36) Roger: LOL
(00:15:37) Tony: Jayson
(00:15:44) Lily: Roger, you have terrible taste, unless you're into tards.
(00:15:48) Roger: Call her!
(00:15:49) Lily: what if she tries to have phone sex with me? =P
(00:15:53) Tony: that'd be even better
(00:16:13) Lily: Doing it
(00:16:22) Roger: tell me what happens
(00:16:24) Roger:

supermankiller: Yes, will you have phone sex with me you sexy ass
jackie5503: maybe
supermankiller: Stay on the cam so I can watch you while we talk

supermankiller: stay on cam while we talk ok?
supermankiller: i want to watch you
jackie5503: ok
supermankiller: calling now

(00:18:40) Roger: i havent seen her pick up a phone yet
(00:18:51) Roger:

jackie5503: r u going to call?
supermankiller: Yes
supermankiller: I'm calling right now
jackie5503: ok

(00:20:15) Lily: ringing
(00:20:19) Lily: called dropped
(00:20:28) Roger: what do you mean called dropped
(00:20:33) Lily: it disconnected for some reason
(00:20:39) Roger: you gonna call back?
(00:20:39) Lily: Trying again
(00:20:43) Roger: cool
(00:21:03) Lily: well fuck me
(00:21:11) Lily: a man with a very deep voice answered
(00:21:25) Lily: I said, super sweetly, "Is Jackie there?"
(00:21:26) Lily:

He said, "No, you've got the wrong number."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, absolutely."

(00:21:41) Roger: Tony, you call her
(00:21:45) Roger: it'll be funy as hell
(00:21:55) Lily: I tried again and it was the same guy, he said "You called me before! I'm trying to get some sleep!"
(00:21:58) Tony: jackie5503: 1-256-***-****
(00:21:59) Tony: did you dial that?
(00:22:20) Lily: yes exactly
(00:22:30) Lily: Wait, no
(00:22:32) Lily: hold on, I'll try again
(00:23:02) Roger: she still hasnt picked up a phone
(00:23:04) Roger: im watching her on cam
(00:23:27) Roger:

(00:23:41) Roger:

jackie5503: ok hurry
supermankiller: im trying to dial your fucking telephone number
jackie5503: well then dial it
jackie5503: if u want to see me u better hurry

(00:24:15) Roger: call her with your cell phone and fuck with here
(00:24:23) Tony: doesn't work, tower down
(00:24:55) Roger: Im gonna call her with mine
(00:25:11) Roger: someones on the phone with her now
(00:25:16) Tony: lol
(00:25:17) Tony: it's not me
(00:25:17) Lily: it's me
(00:25:20) Lily: she sounds like a total fucking redneck
(00:25:25) Roger: lol
(00:25:53) Roger:

(00:26:23) Roger:

supermankiller: oh damn your voice is sexy
supermankiller: move your head over so i can see the phone
supermankiller: im about to fucking cum my underwear

(00:27:14) Roger:

(00:27:41) Roger:

(00:27:56) Roger: hahahaha
(00:28:12) Tony: this is priceless
(00:28:14) Roger:

supermankiller: do you like my voice?
jackie5503: yes i guess
jackie5503: i thought u were a guy
supermankiller: I am a guy

(00:28:16) Lily: She keeps telling me to talk, but I don't know what to say.
(00:28:55) Lily:

Her: You sound like a girl
Me: Why are you making fun of me!?

(00:29:00) Lily: I even tried to sound more girly.
(00:29:35) Roger:

(00:29:38) Lily:

supermankiller: do you want me to fuck you
jackie5503: maybe
supermankiller: type to me that you want it in your as
jackie5503: r u coming to see me?
supermankiller: tell me you want to stick your tongue in my asshole on the telephone
jackie5503: no
jackie5503: im not going to say it
supermankiller: pretty please
supermankiller: tell me that you want me then moan a little bit

(00:30:37) Lily: OH MY GOD!
(00:30:40) Tony: what?
(00:31:08) Lily:

Her: i have a 5yr old 5 ft away from me not asleep yet
Her: so i wont say it

(00:32:26) Roger:

(00:32:43) Roger:

jackie5503: no
jackie5503: im not going to say it
supermankiller: pretty please
supermankiller: tell me that you want me then moan a little bit
supermankiller: play like im fucking you
supermankiller: Tell me that you want to lick me
supermankiller: tell me that now
jackie5503: why do u want me to tellu
supermankiller: so i can CUm
supermankiller: im about to fucking Cum
jackie5503: i have alreday told u
supermankiller: tell me on the phone that you want to give me head
supermankiller: tell me

(00:33:47) Roger:

(00:33:55) Lily:

Her: I won't show anymore than tits because I'm self-concious
Her: and it took me a long time to work up to that.
Lily: Aww, come on baby.

(00:34:00) Tony: That does sound like a guy.
(00:34:04) Roger:

(00:34:16) Roger: she hung up
(00:34:19) Roger: what happened
(00:34:15) Lily: OMFG
(00:34:22) Lily: She just hung up on me
(00:34:31) Lily:

Her: You're too pushy!
Lily: Well you've got some pretty high standards for someone showing her tits on a webcam
Her: *Hangs up*

(00:34:49) Roger: Hahahahaha
(00:35:01) Roger:

supermankiller: why did you hang up on me
supermankiller: i thought you wanted me
supermankiller: are you going to ignore me now?.
supermankiller: I want to take those glasses off of you, and then set on your face
supermankiller: and you wont even talk to me now

(00:38:06) Roger:

(00:39:11) Roger:

(00:39:19) Roger: She cut me off web cam!
(00:40:03) Roger:

(00:40:51) Lily: what kind of nasty ass slut shows her tits on the webcam with her kid in the same room?
(00:40:59) Lily: and surely she's going to do other shit
(00:47:37) Tony: beats me
(01:13:23) Roger:

supermankiller: Jackie?
jackie5503: what?
jackie5503: that wasnt u
supermankiller: yes it was
jackie5503: then the person i have been talking to is not a guy
jackie5503: bye
jackie5503: did i talk to u the other night?
supermankiller: no
supermankiller: that was my boyfriend you talked to the other night
jackie5503: so ur a girl?
supermankiller: no im a guy with a really girly voice
jackie5503: so ur gay
supermankiller: I'm bi-sexual
supermankiller: I want you jackie.

[ Some time later ]

(01:47:43) Roger:

jackie5503: dont call my house and threaten me
supermankiller: I didn't
supermankiller: What are you talking about now
jackie5503: somebody just called my house and said that they were going to come here and do awful things to me
jackie5503: and it sunded like the guy i talked to the iother night
supermankiller: do awful things? like what?
jackie5503: didnt say
jackie5503: he told me he knew where i lived

(01:48:06) Tony: that's what she gets for giving her number out on the web i guess
(01:48:10) Roger:

jackie5503: i told him i was going to hang up
jackie5503: and he told me if i knew what was good for me tha i wouldnt

(01:48:16) Roger: that was me that called
(01:48:37) Tony: what'd you say?
(01:48:47) Roger:

Roger: hey bitch!
Her: what?
Roger: What the fuck are you doing?
Roger: *said other stupid shit*
Her: Don't threaten me, I'm hanging up!
Roger: You better not, have you been smoking that crack cocaine again?
Her: No i dont smoke!
Roger: I'm reporting her to the police
*She hangs up*

(01:50:14) Roger:

jackie5503: he told me he knew where i lived
jackie5503: was that u?
supermankiller: No
jackie5503: why do u keep being somean to me?
supermankiller: I dont
supermankiller: jackie, what are you talking about?
jackie5503: somebody has called my house threatening me
jackie5503: if it wasnt u then u call me right now
jackie5503: when did i threated to kill u
jackie5503: ididnt
supermankiller: oh my goodness ive got to call the police department
jackie5503: what are u talking about?
supermankiller: because your going to kill me if they dont stop you
jackie5503: oh thats it this conversation is over
jackie5503: bye
jackie5503: im not talking to u
jackie5503: ur going on ignore
jackie5503: goodbye
supermankiller: you serious
jackie5503: yes
supermankiller: are you kidding me
jackie5503: bye bye
supermankiller: are you shitting me
supermankiller: your bout as full of shit as a christmas turkey did you know that